How Much Longer?

It's basically the only thing I can think of saying.

How much longer can we suffer these attacks?
How much longer will the world stand by and condemn us for them?
How much longer until we really start fighting back?

How much longer until this terror reaches the west again?

How much longer until Iran strikes?

How much longer until we say enough?
How much longer until they finally say enough?
How much longer until the world says enough?
How much longer until Hashem says enough?

After all the terror that has been going on the past few weeks there have been speculations that Israel will have to invade Gaza again, especially since it has been raining Kasams since the weekend. Sadly, in this back and forth between kasams and IAF strikes, we all know that the world will be calling both parties to stop. How the world does not see the difference between bombs being placed at bus stations, rockets (that cannot be controlled as to where they might land) fired into major cities, families with little kids that are butchered while they sleep and civilian casualties that occur while targeting a terror location (most likely due to the fact that they were purposely positioned in a place where many civilians would get hurt)

Tell me, which Western country would let any of this happen without fighting back and making damn sure they'd win? If the Native Americans would start bombing New York, would anyone dream of saying “well you kinda had it coming since you’ve been occupying their land for so many years”?

People like to point out that Israel is the only democratic state in the Middle East as a reason to get others to focus on the other countries and their dictatorships.
Yes, we’ve seen that there is cause for worry with some of these countries and bravely, their people have been starting to stand up for themselves. Who knew how much the Libyan people where suffering, or how unhappy the Syrians are with Assad.

Yes, one does wonder how so much attention is given to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict whilst there are so many other pressing and often more gruesome matters happening in the world.

However, we are not praised for being a democracy. Rather, we are told by the west to negotiate with the same type of terrorist they have decided to attack. What’s more, for them the war is far off in Iraq, Afghanistan, Lybia and who knows, maybe soon Syria (but why oh why not Iran?). Our war is on our turf, yet we are not allowed to act like the West. We are not held to the same standards as the rest of the Middle East? Fine, we are above them. But why are we not held to the same standards as the rest of the West? Why are we forced to be more, do better and all at the risk of our own lives and those of our children?

How much longer until the West realizes that our fight is their fight?

Peace No More

I am attempting to come to some kind of terms with what happened this Friday night in Itamar.
Ever since becoming a mother myself I find I'm a lot more sensitive to these kinds of tragedies. I find I cannot let myself dwell on any of the details and won't even go near any of the pictures that have been released. Tears swell up in my eyes when I barely start to think about what happened to the Fogel family and their young ones. When I first heard the news all I kept thinking was how can a person kill a tiny baby. What kind of a "human being" can look down upon an innocent 3-month old and simply take her life.

I look at my own children peacefully asleep and I can't imagine what kind of hate must exist inside a person as to kill our little ones in their sleep.

And this is the turning point for me. No matter what the Israelis might be doing to the Palestinians, nothing justifies such a horrendous act, where one simply cannot attribute any humane trait to these murders. It seems that even the Palestinian officials are seeing that this is above and beyond, claiming that this cannot be an act perpetrated by their side, since they would never murder children in such a manner.  Of course, anyone who knows anything about the terror Israel has been through knows this is a clear lie. Palestinian terrorists have always targeted civilians and do not discriminate in age. One might say that at least they are trying to dissociate themselves from such acts, but the it has been reported that Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza were celebrating on the streets and giving out candy. Furthermore, whilst Israel was morning the tragic loss of this family, Palestinians were honoring a terrorist who was involved in the murder of 35 Israelis by naming a square after her.
And these are the people we are somehow trying to make peace with. A people that is being indoctrinated with such hatred, that it has no problem with creeping into the bedrooms of tiny babies with the sole purpose of killing. A people that then goes out onto their streets to celebrate these "accomplishments". These are the people the West expects us to make peace with. A people whose moral values are so far removed from anything we Westerners know and cherish.
But we are also to blame. We are so desperate for peace, we fail to learn from history. We fail to see that whenever we give a little, we only get a slap in the face in return. We give up land, we get bombs, we give up roadblocks, we get terror attacks. When will we learn that there is no peace partner on the other side. When will we learn that as long as we're dealing with a people that can murder as they do (and believe they are going to heaven for it), we cannot give even the tiniest inch. The fact is that the Palestinians have been trained to perceive any Israeli compromise as a weakness on our side and a testament to their growing power, which only results in their renewal of terror.
Sadly, I see no end to this. Unless somehow some intelligent, Western minded people will take over and change the Palestinian education. As long as these people are being raised in an environment where killing Jewish babies is something praiseworthy and will guarantee your place in heaven, we have no peace partner. Again, how do you negotiate with someone who has such blind hatred that he will turn around and kill your children without a second thought?

Cause for Celebration

My oldest kid has been having lots and lots of accidents.
She had been toilet trained for more than 1.5 years when the problems started. A family member died, and while she wasn't so close to him, she is very close to those left behind. She saw these people upset and crying which resulted in a weekend filled with wet clothing. From then on it slowly kept getting worse. After a few weeks of nightly bed changing we decided to put her back in diapers at night. But then slowly it started getting worse during the day as well. It kind of creeps up on you and suddenly you find yourself constantly changing clothes and doing laundry, yet never eliminating the overwhelming pee smell.
So I came to terms with it all and tried to retrain her the way we did the first time with sticker charts and treats. It got a bit better, and went from multiple accidents a day to only a few a week. And while we were on vacation, it was even better. But then we came back and we reached an all time low.
After talking to our pediatrician again, who of course didn't have the miracle answer, I decided to try some different tactics.
I've been pretty sure it all started due to the death in the family and all the emotions it entailed, but I'm not sure that's why it continued. She probably just got stuck in it a bit and the ball kept on rolling. However, the fact that it got better during vacation when we were all spending lots of time together also shows something. Maybe it's her way of saying she needs more attention. Maybe she things that acting more like her younger sibling will give it to her.
I've been talking to the younger one about toilets and potties, to get her in the mood. And secretly, I hoped that if the younger one gets out of her diapers, the older one won't want to lag behind. So this week I took the younger ones diaper off, making sure to focus on both their toilet needs. The older one was given the responsible role of showing the younger one how it works. We made the journey to the toilet and where the older one succeeded, the younger one wouldn't stay on the potty for more than 10 seconds, resulting in her peeing right next to the potty twice, obviously, right after having just stood up from it.
Anyway, I put her diaper right back on and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon watching as the older one kept inviting the younger one to join her on her trips to the bathroom so she can show her how it's done.
Yes, the younger one probably isn't ready, but this little experiment wasn't meant for her. It was meant for number one, and it seems to be working.
Of course, it's only been 3 days, but after weeks filled with multiple daily accidents, I think this is enough cause for a little celebration.

I Don't Miss....

So, yes, I am an avid Zionist. But even I have to admit that no matter how much I enjoyed our trip back home there are things I can do without.

Let's start out with; I don't miss winters in Israel.
I mean, I don't miss the Israeli mentality when it comes to winter. Yes, in general Israel is a warm country, but the that doesnt contradict the fact that it does get cold, it lasts for more than just a day and it is worth it to invest in heating and the like.

So, on that note:

- I don't miss not being able to control how long my heater is on for.
- I don't miss not having heat at night.
- I don't miss having to buy another heater for each bedroom to put next to the already existing and perfectly working heater in order to solve the aforementioned problems.
- I don't miss restaurants who think that just because it's crowded it means we must need the air conditioner, even if it's only 10 degrees Celsius outside.
- I don't miss windows/doors that don't really close and let through a nice cold breeze.
- I don't miss being woken up in the middle of the night by rattling windows/doors.
- I don't miss not being able to walk pas a garbage container without being overcome by the sudden urge to throw up.
- I don't miss being afraid to walk through certain neighborhood, because my accessories might be considered pritzus.
- I don't miss living in a city where the rush hour seems to last all day.
- I don't miss living in a city where the taxi prices depend on whether or not it's raining.
- I don't miss big corporate companies that only really help you if you know the right people or if they find your kids very cute.

I could probably go on and on, but I won't. Cause in the end, it all doesn't matter. Most of these can be solved and the rest one just learns to live with. The fact is that the list of where I live now is much, much longer. And even if it wasn't, the pros outweigh the cons by a long shot. I'm still counting down the minutes till we can move back.

I will make a list of all the positives sometime soon. But right now I'm focusing on the negative so as not to be even more bummed out we're not in Israel anymore.

Homely Experiences

We've returned home. At least for a very short time.
It has been interesting to say the least.
Whenever we return, there are always things that make you feel at home and sad you left. Yet there are also always those things that make you feel kinda glad you don't live here anymore, as much as you'd like to deny that feeling.
But none of my feelings compare to what my oldest has been going through. She has been drilled in gan that though it is cold and snowy by us, it's actually nice and warm in Israel. So shock number 1 came when it was not only raining on and off but it actually started hailing as well. How was this possible in the land where she's supposed to be able to go out in a t-shirt.
Then she realized that our shopping experiences are much more fun here. At home, we spend half the time with her asking me if something is kosher and me having to respond with a clear no followed by some whining. She has been preparing our trip to Israel by pointing out every ice cream she intends to eat here. So, you can imagine her joy when her ever present question was answered affirmatively.  She was ready to buy the whole store!
Her next surprise came when the man in front of the store wanted to check her bag. And in a way, I'm happy she's growing up in a world where one doesn't have to worry about such life threatening things. I'm glad she's still innocent of such dangers and that bombs going off while you're shopping isn't something she can even come close to comprehending.

As for me, I'm glad to be back.
On the one hand it feels like home. It is all so familiar and even though some things I could obviously do without (like a random man yelling at us for no apparent reason). Yet, on the other hand so much has changed. All the buss routes have changed. I have no clue how to get where I need to go and on the off chance that a familiar line does drive by it ends up I should have taken the same number but with an aleph, not the one without. So I end up walking a lot, which is a good thing given all the food I have been enjoying. Food, that's another good point. I know it's so touristy of my, but I'm enjoying the food so much. We basically have one kosher restaurant back home and it's really not that good. So after once or twice, you really don't want to go back there for a long time. So yes, I'm being a good tourist and enjoying all the great food. Or even just simple food like cereals, cold cuts and cheese. Yum.
So I'm off now to enjoy some more.
I'll check in another time with some more experiences of our wonderful trip.

An Ode to All Single Parents

How do they do it?

Seriously, besides all the day to day stuff. What about the exceptionally hard days. We all have them, especially when the kids are little and not able to take care of themselves.

I know that mom's are just not allowed to get sick, but will someone please tell that to my body, it seems to not have gotten that email.
I've been sick the last few days with a stomach flu. Of course it started the second my husband left for tefila in the morning. I sat there, with terrible stomach spasms for more than an hour, trying to somehow keep the kids happy. My 4 year old was really trying to entertain her little sibling so I wouldn't have to. But who was taking care of me? I desperately needed some water, but couldn't even move. So I kept holding on to the fact that my husband would be home soon. I forgot he prayed at a shive house that morning, so it took much longer and of course his phone was still off.
But when he finally did come home, he became superman, taking care of everyone and everything. Any I just lay there thinking, what if he hadn't been here. What if I was all alone, in terrible pain, with a few little kids who's life doesn't stop when mommy's does. What would I have done then?

Now, I have to say, sadly, my being sick lasted more that just that Sunday and I did find out what it's like to have to deal with the kids by myself while being sick. Granted, I could now get up and move around somewhat, but let me tell you, it involved A LOT of TV time. But still, my husband would get home in the evening and take over again.

So this post is an ode to all those who manage to do it all by themselves.
Here's to you!

Tough Times

When something good happens to us, we love to share that with our family and friends. Good news is nice to give and nice to receive, but mostly, it is easy to pass on and easy to respond to.

It's the not so good news, however, that we tend to keep to ourselves. It's never nice telling people something bad, even if it doesnt affect the recipient. In fact, even if it isnt bad news, but simply something a little less perky and upbeat than usual, we would maybe tell our closest friends. I mean, who really answers "How are you?" honestly, all the time?

And the irony of it all is that we need our friends the most when the times get tough.
I've been going through a rough patch (nothing that bad, just too much at once) and sometimes feel like I'm barely coping with day to day life. Of course there are people who could help us out, but these people don't know that there is anything to help out with. Yes, we could share what's going on, but we really don't want to. So the only thing I can do is try and live as normally as possible and hope I don't step on too many toes during my balancing act.